I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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