She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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