saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He shit in the fireplace
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
