my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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