Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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