I got chris browned last night
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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