jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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