Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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