I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
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