Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
