Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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