i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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