you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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