i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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