its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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