I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
