i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
