All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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