I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
