Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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