Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
