Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
