Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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