he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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