sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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