my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
