after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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