im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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