This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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