I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
it glows. i had to have it.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Randomize
