I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
