Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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