Michael Bay diarrhea
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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