1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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