I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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