I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
