I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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