he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
