I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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