"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
