mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
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I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
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Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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