Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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