I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize