Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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