He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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