OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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