mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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