she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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