its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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