He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize
