ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We got so high we made milksteak
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
