You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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