Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
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You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
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I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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