I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
