I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
