Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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