Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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