literally had 100 drinks last night.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
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