I wanna passion pit in your ass
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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